Disclaimer: This is purely speculation on my part.
Somehow I missed this in the daily transaction report on Saturday:
Seattle: Optioned RHP Hector Noesi to Tacoma (PCL). Recalled RHP Brandon Maurer from Tacoma.
I thought that was a little strange – replacing a back of the bullpen guy with a guy who has potential to be a decent MLB starter. I thought it might be that the M’s needed a long guy because Noesi had seen a bunch of action, but that was not the case. Noesi last pitched 2 1/3 innings on July 24th. Maurer last started on July 24th – then it occurred to me why this move might have been made. The M’s are on an East Coast swing. The trading deadline is Wednesday. They have Joe Saunders scheduled to go tomorrow. I would bet dollars to donuts that the M’s are actively shopping Saunders and will yank him from his start if they end up with a deal in place. Maurer is the insurance policy – if they make a deal, Maurer starts. If not, I bet he goes back to Tacoma on Wednesday.
It’s early in the morning. The local supermarket is mostly empty. I’m standing in line behind a late middle-aged guy, waiting to check out.
As it turns out, the checkout Cashier has the same very unusual name as the Customer’s son. The Customer gets out his phone to show the Cashier a picture of his son with another guy in his late 40’s – early 50’s:
Customer: That’s my boy, do you know who the other guy is?
Cashier: No. (I’m peering over there, but it’s a little too far to see.)
Customer: That’s Wayne Gretzky. My son played pickup hockey with him in Coeur d’Alene. My son’s a goal keeper.
Cashier: That’s cool. Alright, have a good one!
(Customer leaves.)
Me: I used to play with a guy who would always brag about playing pickup basketball with Michael Cooper.
Cashier: Who’s Michael Cooper?
Me: Cooper played shooting guard for the Showtime-80’s-era-Lakers with Magic and Kareem? No? He was a long lanky black guy who would shoot 3’s and guard the other team’s best perimeter player.
Cashier: Never heard of him. Did you know that Drew Brees is from Eastern Washington?
Me: I didn’t know that. You may be thinking of Drew Bledsoe. I know he’s from over there.
Cashier: It’s Brees. He’s in Walla Walla. He has a winery and everything.
Me: …. Huh…. Have a good one!
Cashier: You too. Have a good day!
——
This exchange took place not even twenty minutes ago.
We are just days away from the trading deadline and the question for teams on the fringe of contention is “to sell or not to sell?” Basically, do we trade our fringy marginal veterans to a team in contention for something more than a bag of warm peanuts.
The Mariners are one of those teams; they currently sit 11 games back of the A’s for the division lead and 8.5 games back of Baltimore for the wild card. While teams have come back from further out, the odds are highly unlikely (ESPN has the M’s playoff chances as 1.1%). Considering a heavily negative run differential – only two teams have a worse differential in the AL: Houston and Chicago, I think it is time to sell. What do the Mariners have to sell though? Really not a ton. You don’t want to move any of your young guys, so Ackley, Ramirez, Franklin, Miller, Zunino, Smoak, Seager and Saunders are off the table. Felix is pretty much untradeable because of his contract. So who does that leave? Here are the most likely candidates:
Kendrys Morales – he is a free agent at the end of the season, so he is a likely candidate. He is having a good, not great season and plays marginal defense, which probably means he heads to an AL team as a DH. I would guess he is going to end up in Tampa, Cleveland or New York and they will probably be able to get major league ready talent for him.
Raul Ibanez – he seems to have found the fountain of youth, but he is 41 and I doubt that he can sustain his home run prowess for too much longer. He is a terrible defender and teams constantly take advantage of his weak arm. His defense is so bad, that he has virtually negated his offensive WAR value – baseball-reference.com has him at 2.2 oWAR and -1.5 dWAR. He is a nice story but not a long-term benefit to the team. This is the classic case of buy low-sell high. His likely destination is the same list as Morales.
Brendan Ryan – he can’t hit but he does have great value as a late-inning defensive replacement, so the M’s could probably flip him for a grade-C prospect at this point.
Endy Chavez – He can neither hit nor field and is at best a 4th OFer, but he keeps sticking around the majors for no good reason. The M’s can probably get a warm body for him.
Joe Saunders/Aaron Harang – they are both the kind of pitchers that tend to get traded at the deadline; back of the rotation guys who teams are willing to overpay for because they want a veteran back of the rotation guy down the stretch run.
The Entire Bullpen – yep, I would move any of these guys because, frankly, relievers are a fungible commodity, but your most likely candidates are Oliver Perez (love those lefties) and Tom Wilhelmsen.
Buster Onley seems to disagree:
The chief officers of those franchises must assess what surrendering in July would signal to the fan bases, because once the Royals trade Ervin Santana, or the Mariners trade Raul Ibanez and Kendrys Morales, that means they’re telling their fans that they’re willing to give up any chance of a comeback, and they’ll see the evidence in the attendance.
—
Teams that sell off in July are telling their customer base: We don’t have any chance.
That’s a hard thing to sell for the Royals, who haven’t been in a postseason since 1985, or the Mariners, who have been almost irrelevant for the past decade and seem to be building something in the past month. Keep that in mind over the next six days, as you scratch your head about some decisions that confuse you.
Well, I am not sure that you would actually see it in the Mariners attendance if they traded any of their veterans. Let’s face it, people are not coming out to the park to see Raul Ibanez or Kendrys Morales and you are not going to get an attendance boost because Saunders or Harang are on the mound (but you probably would get a boost from their potential replacements on the mound – Taijuan Walker or Danny Hultzen). I don’t necessarily trust the Mariners attendance figures, since they go by tickets sold and not butts in the seats (and there are a good number of season ticket holders that don’t show up for the game) but they haven’t exactly been going gangbusters with their attendance, drawing just a shade under 22,000 per game and they have yet to sell out a game this season (although I do believe they have officially sold out the game on August 10th). Heck, they never topped 26,000 in any game against the Red Sox in July, and the majority of fans in attendance that series were in Red Sox gear. Here is a nice scatter chart of their attendance this season:
It has been a while since we have had a graph on the blog.
In case you care, here is what the attendance looks like based on the day of the week:
Day of the Week
Avg Attendance
Sunday
25,613
Monday
19,640
Tuesday
14,853
Wednesday
17,475
Thursday
19,160
Friday
24,538
Saturday
30,814
What will cause the attendance to decline isn’t the team signaling it has given up, it is the same thing that it is every year – the team just isn’t that good and will fall completely out of contention, meaning that 5,000 people will show up for the weeknight games in September.
The M’s lost last night to end the winning streak, though they’re still 8-2 over the last ten games. They’re threatening to be relevant again!
But really, I’m posting to write about stenographer movies again.
It occured to me that most of the movies fell into one of a few groups:
New hires. What A Bunch Of Idiots:
Mr. Jack Hires a Stenographer (1916) (Short)
The New Stenographer (1911) (Short)
The Substitute Stenographer (1913) (Short)
Stenographer Wanted (1912) (Short)
His New Stenographer (1928) (Short)
The New Stenographer (1914) (Short)
Stenographers Wanted (1912) (Short)
The New Stenographer (1908) (Short)
Wacky Stenographers/ Problems With The Stenographer:
Stenographer Troubles (1913) (Short)
Oh! You Stenographer (1911) (Short)
Politically Incorrect Stenographer Movie Title:
The Colored Stenographer (1909) (Short)
I’m Guessing It’s A Brazen Advertisement Packaged As A Short Film; The Title Is Too Long As Well:
The Stenographer’s Friend; Or, What Was Accomplished by an Edison Business Phonograph (1910) (Short)
There Must Be Babes Involved:
Mutt and Jeff and the Lady Stenographer (1911) (Short)
Dad’s Stenographer (1913) (Short)
Who Knows?
The Stenographer (1914) (Short)
The Ranch Stenographer (1913) (Short)
The Good Stenographer (1916) (Short)
The Stenographer’s Strategy (1916) (Short)
Poor stenographers! Only two or three titles that suggest any level of compentency! Stenographers need to band together to protest these films that promote negative stereotypes!!
Last night I was lying in bed thinking — what’s the most unlikely movie title?
Answer: The Stenographer.
Nobody would want to watch that. That is, unless the heroine had huge bazingas.
You know what else is unlikely? The Mariners are 2nd in the majors in home runs. Raul Ibanez is approaching the single-season record for home runs by a player over 40. (He’s hit 24. Ted Williams holds the record with 29.)
The Mariners have won seven in a row and now sit five games under .500 at 47-52.
Will it continue? Probably not. It’s fun though, right?
———
The complete IMDB list of movies with “Stenographer” in the title:
Public Stenographer (1934)
The Stenographer’s Friend; Or, What Was Accomplished by an Edison Business Phonograph (1910) (Short)
The Stenographer (1914) (Short)
Mr. Jack Hires a Stenographer (1916) (Short)
The New Stenographer (1911) (Short)
The Substitute Stenographer (1913) (Short)
Stenographer Wanted (1912) (Short)
Mutt and Jeff and the Lady Stenographer (1911) (Short)
Stenographer Troubles (1913) (Short)
Oh! You Stenographer (1911) (Short)
His New Stenographer (1928) (Short)
The New Stenographer (1914) (Short)
Stenographers Wanted (1912) (Short)
The Colored Stenographer (1909) (Short)
The New Stenographer (1908) (Short)
Dad’s Stenographer (1913) (Short)
The Ranch Stenographer (1913) (Short)
The Good Stenographer (1916) (Short)
The Stenographer’s Strategy (1916) (Short)
Notice that they’re all “Shorts”, except for the 1934 blockbuster “Public Stenograher”.
IMDB synopsis: “A stenographer who works at a large hotel finds herself caught in the middle of a major swindle.”
Fan synopsis: “The wisecracking and attractive public stenographer Ann McNair spends most of her time continuing to fend off the greedy hands of her employer. On her way to get a new job Ann has a car breakdown on a desolate stretched road. Ann is eventually aided by the handsome James “Jimmy” Martin Jr., who initially courteous acts like all other men in her life. Eventually Jim is in love with Ann. So it seems that Ann at long last drops her hard-boiled veneer, towards Jimmy in particular. Written by Robert”
Last night I was lying in bed thinking — what’s the most unlikely movie title?
Answer: The Stenographer.
Nobody would want to watch that. That is, unless the heroine had huge bazingas.
You know what else is unlikely? The Mariners are 2nd in the majors in home runs. Raul Ibanez is approaching the single-season record for home runs by a player over 40. (He’s hit 24. Ted Williams holds the record with 29.)
The Mariners have won seven in a row and now sit five games under .500 at 47-52.
Will it continue? Probably not. It’s fun though, right?
———
The complete IMDB list of movies with “Stenographer” in the title:
Public Stenographer (1934)
The Stenographer’s Friend; Or, What Was Accomplished by an Edison Business Phonograph (1910) (Short)
The Stenographer (1914) (Short)
Mr. Jack Hires a Stenographer (1916) (Short)
The New Stenographer (1911) (Short)
The Substitute Stenographer (1913) (Short)
Stenographer Wanted (1912) (Short)
Mutt and Jeff and the Lady Stenographer (1911) (Short)
Stenographer Troubles (1913) (Short)
Oh! You Stenographer (1911) (Short)
His New Stenographer (1928) (Short)
The New Stenographer (1914) (Short)
Stenographers Wanted (1912) (Short)
The Colored Stenographer (1909) (Short)
The New Stenographer (1908) (Short)
Dad’s Stenographer (1913) (Short)
The Ranch Stenographer (1913) (Short)
The Good Stenographer (1916) (Short)
The Stenographer’s Strategy (1916) (Short)
Notice that they’re all “Shorts”, except for the 1934 blockbuster “Public Stenograher”.
IMDB synopsis: “A stenographer who works at a large hotel finds herself caught in the middle of a major swindle.”
Fan synopsis: “The wisecracking and attractive public stenographer Ann McNair spends most of her time continuing to fend off the greedy hands of her employer. On her way to get a new job Ann has a car breakdown on a desolate stretched road. Ann is eventually aided by the handsome James “Jimmy” Martin Jr., who initially courteous acts like all other men in her life. Eventually Jim is in love with Ann. So it seems that Ann at long last drops her hard-boiled veneer, towards Jimmy in particular. Written by Robert”
On July 7th, the Hillsboro Hops and Vancouver Canadians played a single game double header plus, going 19 innings in just a hair under 5 and a half hours. You can view the box score here.
The most interesting thing in the game, as told by Rich Burk’s Blog:
Hops outfielders recorded only two putouts in the 19 innings, both by center fielder Taylor Ratliff. Left fielder Jordan Parr fielded four Vancouver base hits, and Ratliff fielded two (their only other hit was a bunt single). Hops right fielder Zach Esquerra never touched the ball in 19 innings.
Amazing that in a game where the opponents had 70 plate appearances, the right fielder did not touch an in-play ball a single time in 19 innings. Just amazing.
First James Harden wouldn’t take a steep discount to stay in OKC. So OKC downgraded to Kevin Martin. Now Martin has decided not to stay at a discounted rate either, opting to sign with Minnesota(!) instead. As a Plan “C” the Thunder then pursued free agent and super long wing guy Dorrell Wright, but he signed with Portland for 2 years and $6 million, total. Now, they’re basically out of answers.
OKC can’t, or won’t, make room under the salary cap for a 20-minute per game decent rotation player in Wright. The Thunder could amnesty (waive) Kendrick Perkins’ ~$9 million in an attempt to create cap space for guys like Martin and Wright — but they won’t because they’d still have to pay Perkins *not* to play for them, and the ownership group has made it clear that they’re not going to shell out funds beyond the standard salary cap. They’re stuck with Perkins two more years.
The upshot is that the Thunder are going to have to rely on 21 year-old Jeremy Lamb to play some important playoff minutes. Lamb played mostly in the D-League last year, and he only saw 147 minutes of action at the NBA level. Is he ready to contribute to a championship contender? The word is, he’s looked good in the D-League, but I’d say being a key cog for OKC is likely a stretch.
The interesting part of this to me is that nobody has been willing to sign with OKC for a discount, even though they’re a championship contender. LA? Sure. Houston? Ok. Miami? You bet! Usually championship contention will buy you veterans looking for a ring at a cheap price. Not in this case. There’s not much help coming from the roster, either. Many fringe championship teams will draft experienced college guys who can contribute right away. See: Spurs – DeJaun Blair, and, Celtics – Big Baby Davis. The Thunder have chosen to go with high upside raw prospects (Perry Jones III, D-Leager/benchwarmer). Their guys are not currently functional rotation players.
Remember all the articles that talked about how the Thunder players were a tight-knit group, and that they’d hang out together and watch movies and such. You know why they did that? I’m betting it’s not because they really dug each other’s company. It’s because there’s nothing else to do in OKC! It’s movie night every night! And again. And again! I wonder if Durant’s new wife is into movie night, or if they’re going to start doing “couples stuff” instead. Maybe she’ll finally be the one to “break up the band”, if it hasn’t already broken up.
And This: Durant now has Jay-Z as an agent. Jay-Z also owns part of the Nets. Is there any chance that Jay-Z is trying to sell Durant on Brooklyn? I think Durant’s wife would prefer Brooklyn. I think any potential “I want to try to win a ring” veterans would prefer Brooklyn. I think the ridiculously weathly owner in Brooklyn will spend around the edges for those types of spare parts. Brooklyn has Garnett and Pierce, but they’ll be retiring, and taking their salaries with them at about the time that Durant comes onto the market. Durant would instantly become A Legend in Brooklyn.
I have no idea how irritated I’d be right now if this franchise was still here.
Jeremy Bonderman is a nice story this season because he is coming back from about a dozen surgeries. That story is now unfortunatly finished as the M’s DFA’ed him today and called up Lucas Luetge.
The M’s need a starter for Thursday. My guess is that they will call up Erasmo Ramirez for the rotation slot. You can bet that if it is Taijuan Walker, Blaidd Drwg will be playing hookey to go to the game.
Jeremy Bonderman is a nice story this season because he is coming back from about a dozen surgeries. That story is now unfortunatly finished as the M’s DFA’ed him today and called up Lucas Luetge.
The M’s need a starter for Thursday. My guess is that they will call up Erasmo Ramirez for the rotation slot. You can bet that if it is Taijuan Walker, Blaidd Drwg will be playing hookey to go to the game.