Communication Breakdown

by A.J. Coltrane

It’s early in the morning. The local supermarket is mostly empty. I’m standing in line behind a late middle-aged guy, waiting to check out.

As it turns out, the checkout Cashier has the same very unusual name as the Customer’s son. The Customer gets out his phone to show the Cashier a picture of his son with another guy in his late 40’s – early 50’s:

Customer:  That’s my boy, do you know who the other guy is?

Cashier:  No. (I’m peering over there, but it’s a little too far to see.)

Customer:  That’s Wayne Gretzky. My son played pickup hockey with him in Coeur d’Alene. My son’s a goal keeper.

Cashier:  That’s cool. Alright, have a  good one!

(Customer leaves.)

Me:  I used to play with a guy who would always brag about playing pickup basketball with Michael Cooper.

Cashier:  Who’s Michael Cooper?

Me:  Cooper played shooting guard for the Showtime-80’s-era-Lakers with Magic and Kareem? No? He was a long lanky black guy who would shoot 3’s and guard the other team’s best perimeter player.

Cashier:  Never heard of him. Did you know that Drew Brees is from Eastern Washington?

Me:  I didn’t know that. You may be thinking of Drew Bledsoe. I know he’s from over there.

Cashier:  It’s Brees. He’s in Walla Walla. He has a winery and everything.

Me:  …. Huh….   Have a good one!

Cashier:  You too. Have a good day!

——

This exchange took place not even twenty minutes ago.

I can now spell Coeur d’Alene