Hyperbole Much?

By Iron Chef Leftovers

There was recently a bad, but very humorous review of Tao Downtown, which list located in NYC, on Bloomberg.com. The reviewer does not like the place at all, and has some wonderfully colorful descriptions of what he did not like. My favorite:

“Looks like a graveyard,” my friend remarked, when the “snapper in the sand” appeared, a preparation wherein patrons hunt for chunks of crispy fish buried in a tomb of garlic crumbs. The flavor is akin to that of overcooked McDonald’s chicken nuggets. The cost is $42.

In case you are unaware, Tao is part of a series of very high grossing restaurants in NY and Las Vegas.

He really didn’t like much of anything about the place, including the atmosphere:

So kudos to the owners, the people behind Lavo and Arlington Club, for turning the Siddhartha, one of history’s great proponents of self-deprivation, into Paris Hilton.

Imagine what these guys could do with a Kosher joint? Until then, I’m happy to say Tao is one of New York’s most important new restaurants. Not for the food, rather for finding taxis.

If you have ever spent any time in NYC, you understand how nice it is to be able to find a taxi here.

I am hoping that this gets the kitten treatment from eater.com. You probably remember the last time they did this for Guy Fieri’s ~~shithole~~ place in NYC:

I wrote this on Thursday morning. I go onto Eater.com in the afternoon and what do I see? Kittens!

Beer of the Week: Populuxe Kolsch

By Iron Chef Leftovers

I am not a big fan of kolsch. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the style, it is just one that I tend to find a bit plain and boring, even when it is done correctly. I tend to want something with more depth of flavor and character when I am drinking a beer unless the weather is warm and I want something that is a background beer. Populuxe took a stab at a kolsch with some pretty good results.

The beer pours pale yellow in color with lots of yeast and grain on the nose with hints of lemon in the background. The beer starts out on the palate softly with subtle grain before moving into more pronounced flavors from the yeast. The beer starts out slowly and has a long build of floor without being overpowering before finishing crisp and clean with a very slight sweetness from the grain. The beer lacks a dominating flavor and is an excellent example of how the style should be done, making it an easy drinking beer perfect for a warm day.

Populuxe Kolsch rocks in with 3 hammocks under the tree out of 5.

The Zapruder Spurs

by A.J. Coltrane

1. I used to own part of a Sonics season ticket package. At one time or another, I saw almost every great player of the last fifteen years play against the Sonics.

But never Shaquille O’Neal. Because Shaq almost never made the Portland/Seattle trip, usually citing a minor, probably ficticious, injury. It got to the point where I never requested the Lakers tickets. I’d go see LeBron instead, thanks.

2. Last year the Spurs kept Tim Duncan and other stars out of a game in Miami, which prompted a $250,000 fine from the league:

Popvich’s decision to send Duncan, Parker, Ginobili and Danny Greene home instead of having them play for the second game of a back-to-back Nov. 19 in Miami created a stir around the league. It was the finale of a six-game road trip, finishing with four games in five days. The Spurs did not give the NBA or Miami prior notice of the players’ absences, which led the NBA to fine San Antonio $250,000.

The Spurs have done stuff like that pretty much forever, just not at that scale. Naturally, some nitwit lawyer who purchased tickets on the secondary market decided to sue, though the lawsuit eventually was dismissed.

3. Curiously enough, the Spurs were scheduled to play a game in Mexico City on Wednesday. I’d say that was absolutely a case of NBA commissioner David Stern throwing his dick around. “Blow off a game in Miami? Great! Here’s one in Mexico!” I think it’s fair to say that neither the Spurs nor the Minnesota Timberwolves were very exited about the prospect.

Both teams *and* David Stern flew down to Mexico, but an electrical fire filled the arena with smoke and caused the game to be rescheduled for a later date in Minnesota.

That leaves a couple of ridiculous conspiracy angles.

I. The Spurs were somehow responsible for the fire:

No game in Mexico. The game was intended to further globalize NBA basketball, and a lot of that good press went to waste. Stern would be pissed about that. Plus, he wasted a plane flight down there and a day or two of his own time! All of that negotiation and preparation down the tubes! Nobody tells the Spurs what to do!

II. David Stern was somehow responsible for the fire:

David Stern makes the Spurs fly down to Mexico, then fly back having accomplished nothing. The game will be shoehorned later into the season when the Spurs will need the rest even more. David Stern always gets the last laugh!

—

And now, here’s the 2nd most famous Zapruder film of all time:

Beer of the Week: Reuben’s Brews AmeriRoggen

By Iron Chef Leftovers

Reuben’s does love their rye beers and they excel at them. One of the styles that you don’t see very often anywhere is a Roggenbier, but that is one of their flagships (and one of the first beers they bottled) and they do it well. A few months back, they decided to use different yeast and transform the Roggenbier into AmeriRoggen, putting a twist on an already solid beer. The beer clocked in at 6% ABV and 28 IBU. It is not currently on tap, but might be making reappearance in the next few months, so keep an eye out for it.

The beer pours a solid brown in color, almost like dark brewed tea with notes of rye, cinnamon, nutmeg and cardamom dominating and a slight hint of chocolate on the nose. The beer drinks very smoothly – it starts out with a little citrus before moving into the spices and then quickly fading into a pleasantly mild rye finish with notes of warming spice and hints of grain. It drinks much lighter than it looks (it doesn’t have deep roasted flavors) and is smooth and well balanced. Definitely different than anything that is out on the market and a beer worth trying if you are looking for something unusual. It would probably serve as a nice gateway beer into the realm of ryes or browns also.

Reuben’s AmeriRoggen waves the flag to the tune of 4 National Anthems out of 5.

The Mariners and the Offseason

By Blaidd Drwg

I keep hearing that the Mariners are going to be a major player in the FA market this season. Here is where I think the Mariners have some major holes to fill to bring them to an 82-85 win team:

RF and LF (assuming that Dustin Ackley is their CF)

1B or DH (depending on where you play Smoak)

C (you need someone who can play almost every day in case Zunino proves 2013 was not a fluke)

SP (at least one back of the rotation guy)

RP (the bullpen needs help – too many guys imploded last year)

If you want to talk about being a playoff contender, they probably need to replace Smoak with someone better and they probably need 2 middle of the rotation guys in addition to 2 OF, a catcher and some bullpen help. I personally think they need to do more than that and that would be a ton of spending, so it isn’t going to happen.

I write this because of the flurry of activity that has occurred over the last week. The A’s have made trades to bolster their team and so have the Rangers. The Yankees have signed the best catcher and OF on the market and appear to still be in the running for Cano. The Tigers are making themselves better through trades and signings. The Mariners? Well, they did sign Willie Bloomquist. Are you excited yet?

I keep hearing the Mariners are the front runners for Robinson Cano. He tried to play chicken with the Yankees and the Yankees wouldn’t budge, so his agent, Jay-Z, decided to pull a Scott Boras move and get a bidding war for Cano’s services going, hence the Mariners involvement. The M’s are a team with just 2 players under contract (Iwakuma and Felix) and a bunch of guys who are arbitration eligible/under team control. If the M’s don’t go out and spend any money on FA’s this season, their payroll will be in the 45-50 million dollar range. Based on that, the M’s could afford to overpay Cano in the 25-27 million dollar range just to get him to sign.

With the M’s offer, Jay-Z goes back to the Yankees and says, “See, there is a team willing to pay my client 27 million per for 8 years, but he really wants to stay in NY. If you do 25 million per for 7 years with an option, we can call be happy.” Unless the Rangers step in, I would put money on Cano signing for 7 years/175 million with the Yankees.

There are a couple of reasons why signing Cano makes no sense, especially for 8 years:

You have now committed 50+ million dollars on 2 players through 2019. That is a ton of payroll on two guys considering one is a pitcher and the other will be in his late 30’s.
Signing Cano to that contract would basically mean he is untradeable. You now have to hope that his batting numbers don’t fall into a black hole in Safeco, or that he becomes unhappy if the team is not competitive.
You have no place to play him. I don’t think you can put him at DH, so that means you have to find a new position for Nick Franklin, unless you put Cano at 1B and move Smoak to DH.
Your team is going to get really expensive over the next 3 seasons. All of the guys under team control will get bumps due to arbitration and the arbitration eligible guys will get huge bumps from free agency. As deep as the M’s farm system is, it can’t replace the entire roster, so you are probably looking at adding 40-50 million to your payroll in the next few seasons, assuming that you keep all of the important guys.
You are going to have to sign or replace Iwakuma. He is on the last year of his contract in 2014 and you are probably going to be paying him in the 15-17 million per range unless he implodes this season. The M’s hold an option on him for 2015, but I expect that the contract will get extended sometime this season and void the team option.
When was the last time a mega deal free agent worked out for the team that signed him?

Cano makes sense if you are close to being a perennial contender. The Mariners are not. I suspect what happens in the next few months is the M’s sign Nelson Cruz, resign Kendrys Morales, a couple of replacement level guys for the bench , a scrap heap starter and a couple of fungible relief guys and plod their way to another 77-81 win season, hoping that all of the kids become superstars.

And folks wonder why I gave up my season tickets.

Beer of the Week: Stone Enjoy By 7-4-13

Stone Brewing has a great series of hoppy beers called “Enjoy By”. Basically, these beers are made to be consumed fresh and done so by the date on the bottle. These beers come out about once a month and are generally available in better bottle shops in a 22 oz. size with the price varying depending on the beer. This version of the beer was a double IPA and not exactly what you would call a small beer.

From the Stone website:

Style: Double IPA
ABV: 9.4%
Bottled On: 05.31.13
Enjoy By Date: 07.04.13

You have in your hands a devastatingly fresh double IPA. While freshness is a key component of many beers – especially big, citrusy, floral IPAs – we’ve taken it further, a lot further, in this IPA. You see, we specifically brewed it NOT to last. We’ve not only gone to extensive lengths to ensure that you’re getting this beer in your hands within an extraordinarily short window, we made sure that the Enjoy By date isn’t randomly etched in tiny text somewhere on the label, to be overlooked by all but the most attentive of retailers and consumers. Instead, we’ve sent a clear message with the name of the beer itself that there is no better time than right now to enjoy this IPA.

The beer pours golden orange in color with an off white head. Notes of lemon, orange and grapefruit dominate the nose with an ever so slight note of grain. The beer starts off surprisingly mild for a double IPA with a pleasantly light bitterness before reminding you that, yes, this is a double IPA and quickly moving into the intense citrus range with orange and grapefruit dominating with some citrus peel thrown in for good measure. Those flavors stick around for a long time before fading with a light resin on the back of the palate and a slight sweetness on the front mixed with the residual citrus notes still trying to fade. I wish the beer had slightly more balance as the intense citrus was nice but the bitterness came and went and there was some alcohol burn on the back of the throat which made the beer a little tougher to drink. Overall, it is still a fine double IPA and worth giving a shot.

Stone’s Enjoy By 7-4-13 was a blast triggering 3 fireworks out of 5.

Beer of the Week: Diamond Knot Calypso Pale Ale

By Iron Chef Leftovers

I really love the concept of the DNA Project that is run by Diamond Knot, North Sound and Anacortes because it gives you some insight how changing a small thing can lead to very different beers. The first DNA project in 2012 used the same yeast in 3 different beers. This year, they used the same grain bill and each used a different hop to produce a pale ale. Next time this rolls around, you should take a trip up to one of the 3 breweries involved to try this interesting experiment. First up is the Diamond Knot Calypso Pale – brewed with Calypso hops. It clocked in at 5.4% ABV.

In case you are unfamiliar with Calypso, from a homebrew site, they are described as “Pleasant, fruity aroma, with hints of pear and apple.”

The beer pours golden orange in color with lots of grain and malt on the nose backed by light citrus notes. A hint of pleasant bitterness show initially quickly giving way to a strong grain bill with notes of tropical fruit (I got mostly passion fruit) interspersed. The finish is a long, slightly bitter pineapple/pear combination, lingering just long enough between sips to remind you what you are drinking. The tropical hop notes dominate the beer, but there is enough grain and balance in this beer to make it light and easy drinking and would be perfect on a warm summer day.

The Diamond Knot Calypso Pale starts the party and limbos in with a strong 3 steel drums out of 5.

Braised Pork Sugo

By Iron Chef Leftovers

One of the nice things about making pasta sauce is that it is a fairly simple process and can be used in a variety of ways. One of the things I tend to do with my tomatoes is to make a really simple sauce and freezing it so that I can use it as a base for a more robust pasta sauce later in the year. One of my favorite sauces is a sugo – a hearty sauce that I love in the cold of winter. It was part of one of my courses at a recent dinner party and it is a nice sauce to feed a crowd.

The Software

3 lb. pork shoulder, cut into 1 inch cubes

2 medium onions, finely sliced (about 2 cups)

3 carrots, peeled and cut into 1 inch lengths

3 celery stalks cut into 1 inch lengths

1 tablespoon tomato paste

1 can diced tomatoes (16 oz)

1 1/4 cup chicken stock

1 ¼ cup red wine

1 teaspoon minced garlic

5 cups tomato sauce

1 teaspoon dried oregano

1 teaspoon minced sage

1 teaspoon minced rosemary

2 teaspoons olive oil

The Recipe

Preheat oven to 275 degrees. In a dutch oven, heat one teaspoon of olive oil over medium high heat until just smoking. Add 1/3 of the pork and brown on all sides (about 4 minutes per side). Remove from the pot to a plate and reduce heat to medium and add 1 teaspoon of olive oil. Add onions and cook for 8 minutes until they start to become translucent, stirring occasionally. Add the tomato paste and cook for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add garlic and cook for 30 seconds. Add celery and carrots and cook for about 10 minutes stirring occasionally. Add stock, tomatoes and red wine and increase heat to medium high until liquid comes to a boil. Add the pork and cook until the liquid returns to a boil. Cover and put in the oven. Cook for about 2 hours or until the pork is fork tender. Remove from the oven. Pull the pork from the liquid and set aside to shred. Take the vegetables and add them to a blender. Strain the liquid to remove the fat and then add to the blender with the vegetables. Puree until smooth (you may need to do this in a couple of batches). Add the puree and the pork back to the pot and combine with the tomato sauce, oregano, rosemary and sage. Heat over medium heat for 15 minutes, add salt and pepper as needed and serve over pasta.

Notes

This recipe is better if you make it a day ahead of when you want to use it. I use an even split of marsala wine and dry red wine, but just about any red wine will work in this recipe. You can adjust the amount of tomato sauce depending on how much sauce you like. If it is too thick when you serve it, add a bit of pasta water to it to loosen it up. This would also be nice with a bit of red pepper flakes added to the initial braise.

Recommended Game — Starship Catan

by A.J. Coltrane

Title: Starship Catan

Game Type: Exploration/ Euro-style resource allocation, shares traits with the other Catan titles.

Number of Players: 2

Complexity of Rules: Low-Medium/ Medium

Time to Play: 60 minutes

The Concept: Each player controls a spaceship. In the quote box is further explanation from boardgamegeek (I can’t improve on it, so here it is) –

Players explore randomly shuffled decks of cards [ed: star sectors] looking for potential colonies, good trading deals, opportunities to help planets, and either avoid or combat pirates. Players can upgrade their ships’ systems, including weapons to combat the pirates, thrusters to be able to explore further each turn, scanners to see (and avoid) cards that are coming up, and several others. Victory Points are earned by establishing colonies, building upgraded ship’s systems, having the most friendship points, and having the most hero points. The first player to 10 Victory Points wins.

Why I Like It: Like many of the other Catan and Euro games, it’s about the tradeoff between what you have, what you want, what you need now, and what you’re building towards. As the sectors are explored, the pirates get bigger and nastier, and the danger ramps up.

The game features good-sized cardboard cutouts that represent the ships. You can see it in the picture below. The yellow token attaches to the back of the ship and represents an engine. The blue pointy token goes in the front and represents cannons. The arrows in the middle of the ship point to how much of a particular resource that you have. The squares represent different bays of the ship that can be upgraded for a cost. There are also the Colony and Trade pods at the back. Collect resources by exploring the sectors and upgrade as you think is appropriate. .

The boy cat was interested in playing too:

Starship Catan is now out of print. The going rate on ebay is $22-34. We recently purchased a 2nd copy on ebay with the idea of keeping one “nice” copy. As it turns out, the one purchased on ebay is in better shape, so it’s now the “keeper”. Highly recommended.

Beer of the Week: NW Peaks Chair Pale Ale

By Iron Chef Leftovers

The counterpart to the recently reviewed Silver Pale from NW Peaks is the Chair Pale, a Belgian style pale, and one which Mrs. Iron Chef was looking forward to. According to the NW Peaks website, the beer may still be available in growlers, so if you are so inclined, you should see if they still have it.

From the NW Peaks Website:

The name. The mountain. Chair Pk is an intimidating mountain right off Snoqualmie pass. It heads the alpental valley and is a popular technical winter climb offering both ice and steep snow routes. All around Chair is a winter playground with “the chair peak circumnavigation” one of the most popular backcountry ski tours in the area.

The Beer. Chair is Belgian style pale ale. We used the Ardennes™ yeast strain to introduce the typical fruity esters (banana) and spicy phenols (pepper) typical of Belgian beers. The Belgian characters dominate the beer, but are supported by a nice hop character. The fruity and floral notes of Amarillo and NZ Saaz hops complement and support the Belgian character very nicely, resulting in a drier, crisp belgian style pale ale.

Malts: Pale, Pilsner, Vienna, Wheat, dextrin. Hops: NZ-Saaz, Amarillo, Cascade. ABV: ~5.25%

The beer pours golden yellow in color (and is hazy, which is not an indication of any issues) with a classic Belgian nose – clove, banana and yeast dominate the beer. The beer has a slightly hoppy bitterness on the initial sip but that fades quickly into the flavors that you would expect from a Belgian – coriander, yeast and banana linger for a long period of time before finishing in a slightly sweet and bready finish. Complex and well-balanced, Chair Pale drinks easily and is a nice change of pace from the hop heavy NW Pales that you commonly find.

NW Peaks Chair Pale Ale takes a seat at the table with 4 rockers out of 5.