…and now for something completely different…a beer review in the style of a fairy tale.
One day Iron Chef Leftoversy-locks was wandering through the concrete forest of Ballard and he stumbled upon a small brewery on a path called NW 49th street. Curious, he stopped in to find a friendly looking barkeep pouring 3 different porters, all infused with fruit. Thirsty from his long walk, Iron Chef Leftoversly-locks decided to taste all 3 beers.
First, he tried the Populuxe Raspberry Brown Porter. There were strong notes of raspberry with hints of chocolate on the nose when he smelled the beer. Upon tasting it, he noticed slightly tart raspberry that lingered for a long time before joining up with lots of chocolate flavors in a very long finish that kept going and going. Our hero thought “this beer reminds me of eating a raspberry filled chocolate and it was really tasty. I declare this beer received 3 ‘this porridge is too hot’s’ out of 5.”
Next, the friendly barkeep poured Iron Chef Leftoversy-locks a Sour Cherry Brown Porter. Our hero took a whiff of the brew and noticed mild notes of cherry and chocolate, reminding him of chocolate covered cherries. He took a swig and noticed the beer was chocolate forward, with an almost milk chocolate like characteristic, before it moved on to a long cherry finish with a light tartness to balance the light sweetness of the malt. He thought to himself “the finish on this beer reminds me of eating fresh cherries with all of the juice. I can almost picture myself eating a handful of cherries and a chocolate bar while drinking this beer. I give this beer a 4 ‘this porridge is too cold’s’ out of 5.”
Finally, the friendly barkeep poured out hero a Roasted Plum Brown Porter. “Roasted plum?” Iron Chef queried. “It is a traditional Czech jam of caramelized plums that were used in the beer,” the friendly barkeep replied. Iron Chef Leftoversy-locks raised the glass to his nose and notices very light notes of plum and caramel with overtones of chocolate and malt in the foreground. Upon sipping the beer, he noticed light notes of sugar with hints of dark caramel in the foreground before moving on to light notes of chocolate and malt before finishing with a slightly sweet jam taste that lingered at the back of the palate. As the beer warmed slightly and more was consumed, our hero began to notice notes of dried fruit, raisins and plums becoming more noticeable throughout the beer, in a very subtle and pleasant way, complimenting the chocolate notes. Iron Chef Leftoversy-locks declared “this beer is subtle and delicious, with lots of character without being overpowering. I will rate this beer 5 ‘this porridge is just right’s out of 5.”
Just then Iron Chef Leftoversy-locks wife came through the door, Iron Chef Leftoversy-locks ordered a Plum Porter and a Blond (for Mrs. Iron Chef Leftoversy-locks) from the friendly barkeep and they went outside to drink their beers in the warm Seattle summer evening.
The End.
Roll Credits…
The Actors:
Iron Chef Leftoversy-locks……….. Iron Chef Leftovers
Mrs. Iron Chef Leftoversy-locks……… Mrs. Iron Chef Leftovers
The Friendly Barkeep………Jiri Zatloukal
Cast of Thousands……… Peter Charbonnier, Amy Besunder, Judy Scarcia
Prince Charming………Johnny Depp
Four Headed Alien………Betty White
And introducing………… Populuxe Brown Porter as Raspberry Brown Porter, Sour Cherry Brown Porter and Roasted Plum Brown Porter
This has been a cheapseateats.com production in association with Populuxe entertainment.
No animals were harmed in the making of this production, but there were a couple of cute standard poodle puppies on set. Plenty of beers were consumed however.
Editor’s note: All 3 beers were based on the same Brown Porter with the fruit added at the very end of the process. These beers were only done in 5 gallon batches, so watch Populuxe’s Facebook page to see when they are on tap.
If you came across three porters on your long walk why did you not call in reinforcements from Little Red Annie Hood. I hear she can tell if a Porter is just right.
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