The 2013 Houston Astros

By Iron Chef Leftovers

The Astros are horrible. If you think I am exaggerating, Vegas had a closing line of 58 wins for them for the 2013 season. That translates into a 104 loss season. How bad is that? Well it would actually be an improvement over their last 2 seasons in which they lost 106 and 107 games. After seeing them play, I would be surprised if they don’t lose 110 games this season.

So much was made of the dismantling of the Florida Miami Marlins that the Astros managed to take their team apart with no one noticing. They traded just about everyone making more than a few bucks an hour and left themselves with a payroll of somewhere around $25 million for the season. Or, to put it in perspective, less than what the Yankees are paying Arod not be on the DL. Their “highest” paid player isn’t even on their roster – they are paying 5 million to Wandy Rodriguez, who is currently pitching in Pittsburgh. The only 2 guys that are making more than 2 million are Bud Norris (who is actually their “best” pitcher) and Carlos Pena (who will be gone by May the way he is swinging the bat), and they are both making about 3 million for the season.

This is a team that can’t hit and can’t pitch – they went into the season with Jose Veras as their closer, a guy described by Dave Schoenfield as:

Might not get a save opportunity until May

30. Jose Veras, Astros.
Now 32, he’s pitched for the Yankees, Indians, Marlins, Pirates and Brewers and has five career saves.

Before becoming a closer: The Brewers had the worst bullpen in the majors last year and even they didn’t want him back.

In their recent game against the Mariners (in the M’s home opener), their #4 hitter came out of the game. We had to look up who it was since none of us could actually name him. Here is the lineup they used:

Jose Altuve 2B
Justin Maxwell CF
Chris Carter DH
J.D. Martinez LF
Rick Ankiel RF
Carlos Pena 1B
Matt Dominguez 3B
Jason Castro C
Brandon Barnes RF-LF
Ronny Cedeno SS

If that lineup doesn’t scream “110 losses, here we come!” I am not sure what would.

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