Strat-O-Matic

by A.J. Coltrane

Fun piece about the history of Strat-O-Matic here.

My 1979 math teacher introduced our class to Strat-O-Matic, I think using the flimsy math underpinnings of the game as justification.

My 1979 Strat-O-Matic football team:

Quarterback- Bob Griese

Running Back- Archie Griffin

Full Back- Horace King

Tight End- Henry Childs

Split End- Alfred Jenkins

Flanker- Lynn Swann  (or maybe he was the Split End, and Jenkins was the Flanker)

Special Teams- Raiders (Featuring Ray Guy)

Defense- Patriots

The teacher suggested we draft a quarterback first, followed by defense.  I went along with the suggestion, as I think most of the kids did.  Drafting at the end of the first round left me a 34 year-old Bob Griese at quarterback.  I then drafted the defense — New England was absolutely league average, but was the best available.  I then drafted all of my pass-catchers,  followed by snapping up punter extraordinaire Ray Guy.

Q:  What was I missing?  A:  Any semblance of a running game.  Archie Griffin was a two-time Heisman trophy winner who never exceeded 700 yards in his seven year pro career.  This was a bad thing, since a big part of Strat-O-Matic football was (and is) correctly guessing whether your opponent intends to run or pass on the next play.

For my passing game though — I had a decrepit dink and dunk quarterback throwing to a trio of deep threat wide receivers:

Lynn Swann:  19.7 yards per catch, good for 4th in the NFL.

Alfred Jenkins:  17.2 yards per catch.  (20th)

Henry Childs:  16.6 yards per catch.  (As a Tight End(!), 27th in the league.)

Swann was a couple of years removed from the Pro Bowl.  Jenkins would be a Pro Bowler the following two seasons.  It was Childs’ lone Pro Bowl season.

What’d all that add up to?  Old QB + No RBs + Great WRs + Average Defense = a 5-4-1 record.  I made it into the playoffs as a Wild Card and lost in the NFC Championship game by throwing the ball all over the place.

My buddy won the league in part because he had the Steel Curtain defense and an actual running game.  It didn’t hurt that I traded (read: gave) him Lynn Swann right before the Super Bowl — I’d just used Swann to terrorize his opponent in the previous game, I’d gotten behind early and spent most of the game throwing bombs to Swann.

The cool part was that the teacher gave my buddy the cards after the season, as a prize for winning the Super Bowl.  Good times.