The Rapaport Rule

by Coltrane

I finally got the chance to watch last weekend’s NBA All-Star Celebrity Game.

You may remember Michael Rapaport from the film “True Romance.”  (He played Dick Ritchie, Cristian Slater’s clueless actor friend.)

During last year’s celebrity game Rapaport fouled the bejeezus out of anything that moved.  He must have committed 20 or more fouls, and they weren’t even “good” fouls.  He was just hammering down every time he got near the ball.  When interviewed and confronted with the fact that everyone thought he was playing like a jerkwad, he responded by saying “No blood, no foul”.  Rapaport was playing ratball and figured it was normal.  Needless to say, that’s not really the way to play around former NBA, WBNA, and mostly B-list celebrities during an exhibition game.

This year Rapaport got invited to the game again.  During the leadup to the game the celebrity ref (NBA announcer Mike Breen) said that there were two new rules this year:

1.  Zero tolerance on backtalk to the ref.

2.  A new “Rapaport Rule”:  Ten fouls and you’re gone.  However, the rule only applies to, you guessed it, Michael Rapaport.

I’ve now watched as far as the late 3rd quarter.  Rapaport has been as docile as a puppy.  (Not the kind of puppy that chews on the table leg or gets excited and pees on the floor;  he’s been the friendly, mellow, good puppy that everyone likes.)  Of course, in this case the puppy is a non-stop trash talker.

Evidently Michael Rapaport can take a hint.

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If the presence of guns in a movie doesn’t rule it out for you, True Romance is a great film.  The cast includes Cristian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Christopher Walken, Dennis Hopper, Gary Oldman, Samuel L. Jackson, Val Kilmer, and Brad Pitt as Rapaport’s stoner roommate Floyd.  The movie is written by Quentin Tarantino.